I have a trip coming up soon and I'll be getting up very early in the morning (around 4:30 a.m.) to make my flight. It will be about a 3 1/2 hour flight on a smaller airplane so I thought it would be a perfect time to use some of my frequent flyer miles and upgrade to first class. I don't get to do this often and I won't even consider it for flights under 2 hours, but this really fit the bill.
So I called the frequent flyer customer service and asked if it was possible to upgrade using my miles. The lady on the other end of the phone was quite nice and said sure that was possible and there would be a $75 fee for making the upgrade. Now, it was already going to cost me $60 to check my bags and checked bags fly free if you're in first class so this was really only going to be an extra $15 for me to get the big comfy seat for my 3 1/2 hour flight. Sounds like a bargain, doesn't it.
Here's where my frustration set in and I simply couldn't help myself.
I told the woman I was OK with the $75 fee for using miles for the upgrade - I thought it was a little ridiculous to "pay" to use my miles, but since I was already going to pay for baggage, then the upgrade fee was not that big of a deal. The woman then said in addition to the upgrade fee there would also be an expedite fee since I was calling a mere EIGHTEEN DAYS before my flight departed. That's right, they needed at least 21 days advance notice to avoid the expedite fee.
I asked her if she was kidding and she said no.
I asked if she knew what the definition of "expedite" was. I didn't wait for her answer but went on to say that it meant to rush something and I didn't understand what she would be expediting and why there would be a charge. All she was going to do was enter it into her computer and it would change my "electronic" ticket to reflect first class. She wasn't going to mail anything to me. She wasn't even going to e-mail anything to me. What could she possibly be going to do to my ticket 18 days before I traveled that would require "expediting."
Her response was almost priceless. "We've had that expediting fee in place for more than 20 years. It's not something new." Well, no kidding its an old fee. You used to mail everyone their plane tickets. Changes to flight bookings meant new tickets had to be issued and had to mailed to the traveller. If they were still using snail mail to send out tickets, then I might understand an expedite fee. But when was the last time you got printed airline tickets in the mail? I bet I haven't seen a printed ticket since I flew to Australia in 2002.
As my utter disbelief and frustration continued to grow, I just couldn't help myself and the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. "It's no wonder your airline is bankrupt. You can't even process an electronic ticket in 18 days with charging an outrageous expedite fee."
I sure hope my bags arrive on time.
